Than Aunt B., because I’ve never seen either one of those but there is one I’ve seen recently several times that’s strange in a disturbing way. Apparently, there is a person named Kendra who is going to have a TV show of her own. Judging from the video clips included she was the beneficiary of a grant from myteethlookstrangelyfakebutsparkleywhite.com and myboobsaretoobig.com both. A quick Googling revealed that she even has a last name and her “famousness” arises from being one of Heffner’s playmates. Judging from the video clips, Hef is still selecting based on breast size rather than intellect.

Now, it may be that the producers intentionally picked footage designed to show off this person’s ability to fill every crevice in the blonde bimbo stereotype, but I actually know a few blondes, some of whom may actually be blonde, and none are as vacuous as this person seems to be. (I’m trying to be nice. She apparently has moved in with a pro football player and they’re all bigger than me.)  It’s like the lights are on all through the house but the elevator is stuck between floors. And, yes, I know that the metaphor is bizarrely twisted – that’s why it works here. Seriously.

There’s a clip showing her swinging around a post in a house which obviously emphasizes how far away from the post she has to hold herself to prevent interference, but there’s also a microphone transmitter the size of three decks of playing cards that’s been clipped to the obvious convenient spot, her back bra strap. (The possibility that it’s some sort of counterbalancing weight scares me.) 

She was also apparently on a show I must have missed called the Girls Next Door. I do not live in that neighborhood. If  you watch this show, please don’t tell me. I’d rather think better of you.